I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
