I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
