just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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