Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
