Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So squirting runs in the family.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
