you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
