I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
