Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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