I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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