two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
