He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
