even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
