so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
