Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
