i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
