My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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