Betty ford says i'm here all night
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
