I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
