I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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