Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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