would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Drunk is not a location!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
