i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
