So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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