Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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