I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
