Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
