No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
