nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
