she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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