He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
