ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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