Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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