i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
