going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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