Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hippo gnu deer
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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