its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
