I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
