how can u be prego again
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
