I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
