I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
