She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
