with your own penis?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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