I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
