I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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