Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
