i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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