i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
