I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
