First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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