Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
