I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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