Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
