my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
